My thoughts on life.

Think About It..

Just a little while ago a man by the name of Ryan James Yezak released a video to promote awareness of the lack of gay rights in the country. Its other goal is to bring attention to a documentary that James was making detailing those discriminations within our society. I have a few things to say, but I really ask that you watch this video. It will take up five minutes of your day. I ask that you watch this with an open heart and think about it..

I was raised in a country where the members of Congress, the President, and the American people wanted a seperation of church and state. In fact, this country’s founders, despite what many people want you to believe, was founded by people who were tired of religion in government. So why is the notion of gay people marrying still even a debate within politicians’ minds? Because, there is bigotry. Simply put, in its most unrefined definition, people don’t like people different than themselves. Often times, this mindset is most prevelent in religon.

It was the idea of religion, you know the one about “its in the Bible”, that people used to counteract the abolition of slavery, women’s equal rights, and cross-ethnic marriages. It was those people, who do not have their scientific facts together, that scared the country into thinking all gay people had HIV, and that they shouldn’t give blood, semen, or bone marrow.(By the way, all of those statutes are still in place today.)

There is fear of the unknown; I get that. I understand the tiny, yet overwhelming, thought that enters one’s brain and can disrupt an entire life’s worth of thinking. I know what its like to be afraid, scared of thinking, scared of acting, scared of being who you really are. I have been afraid for many years, petrified really. I can connect with the idea of losing everyone, everything, around you.

To have walls is normal, we all build them. We lock people out; our ideas and thougths are our hostages. We take a single thought, decipher it, reword it, reword it again, and again, and again. We try our best to take that thought, which doesn’t fit into society, and make it fit. We polish it, buff it, chip off the rust; we make it look as good as we can. Then we release it into the world.

I can remember the first time I had the thought that I liked boys. I was in third grade. I remember quite clearly that I not only wanted but needed to be around him. I wanted to kiss his cheek so badly. Then as I grew, those unexpressed thoughts became stronger but so did the hatred for gay people.

I come from a divorced home where half of my family is Catholic and the other half Protestant. Needless to say, I have been exposed to the traditional Christian menatality concerning gay people. I have heard the bashing, experienced the bullying, and have been one of those kids who contemplated suicide. I’ve hated myself. So, I prayed. I prayed every night for years. I hoped God would take this away from me, this sin.

Yes, I am Christian. I believe in a God that loves his creation. I believe that all people are his creation (that also includes gay people). I believe that one day we will be judged for our actions, lack of actions, hate, and love.

It has taken me this long to announce proudly that I am gay. I was born gay. It is not a choice. So, for those of you who want to start pointing the finger, let me ask you a few questions. Why would I choose a life where I can’t marry, can’t adopt kids with my husband, can’t give blood or bone marrow? Why would I choose a life where people spit on me, are afraid of me, look down upon me as if I am the dirt they walk on? Why would I risk loosing friends and family? Why would I choose this?

Also, you say this is a sin. The Bible calls it an abomination. You seem to miss the other verses where shelfish, leather, short hair, and showing skin are also an abomination. You seem to miss the verses where kids are stoned to death in the town square for disobeying their parents, or brides are murdered because they aren’t virgins on their wedding day. You say this is a sin. Therefore, you say its a choice. If my homosexuality is a choice you have to accept that sexuality as a whole is a choice. So tell me, when did you choose to be straight?

I am the happiest I’ve ever been, and I hope that one day the feelings that I have for myself, and who I’m becoming, will be the broadcasted message to gay youth. Being gay does not mean you will live a horrible life without family or friends. No, being gay means you will live like everyone else, get a job, have fun with your friends, and find someone that you love. That person will just be the same gender.

Let your light shine in the darkness to be a guide for others. Love.


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7 thoughts on “Think About It..

  1. Meredith R. on said:

    You tell ’em Lukey 🙂

  2. Scientifically and experientially speaking, I don’t think that it is a choice to be gay nor do I think that you are born being gay. But all too often we as a gay community fail to see that there are more than two options in this debate. No one is fighting for the middle ground, everyone is fighting for the extreme views. The middle ground says that no it is not a choice, but it is not a inborn characteristic. What causes someone to be gay is an unknown combination of genetic predispositions to certain behaviors, sexual abuse is some cases, lack of correct parental relationships, and a whole host of other factors that in of themselves may not cause someone to be gay, but in the correct combinations may. But that certainly does not make it a choice. I am gay. I am proud. But I wasn’t born this way.

    • I appreciate your comment, however, I do disagree with you. I find it hard to believe that it’s anything more than genetic. Take me for example. I have “normal” relations with parents, never have been sexually abused, and have never had any unusual influence on my development, however, I’m gay. To say that there are an unknown number of combinations to whether or not someone is gay is equivalent to saying you can add any amount of any ingredient to make a cake. I much prefer the idea that I was genetically meant to be gay and it wasn’t a freak accident because of an imbalance of influences in my childhood.

      • Except that you cannot back up your belief that it is a genetic trait scientifically. There is no gene that determines sexuality–straight or gay. What combination of environmental and genetic factors caused you to be gay I cannot say because I do not know you and your life, but I think the gay community running to the “born this way” argument makes us look horribly ignorant simply because there is no scientific proof that sexuality is an in-born characteristic. As to your making-a- cake analogy, I think your analogy is not accurate. Unlike a cake, people are not the same product. Many different “ingredients” and amounts and combinations of “ingredients” create different people.

      • Although there is no evidence linking homosexuality to a particular gene, there is extensive evidence on brain chemistry. A gay man’s chemical response to a picture of a male is identical to that of a heterosexual woman. So there is increasing evidence on the biology and chemistry on what it means to be gay. The only way brain chemistry could change is through hormones. The hormones have to have the blueprint for their production from a gene. So perhaps their isn’t a “gay” gene, but I would argue that a large portion of being gay is still yet to be discovered within our very own biology. Going back to the cake analogy, it seems we have different perspectives on what sexuality is as a whole. I see it as a definitive part of one psyche. I believe you might have a more subjective view. Despite our difference in opinion, I do believe that often times the community is so desperate for answers that it attaches itself to one idea (i.e. born this way) which does make us look unintelligent and only reinforces a slew of stereotypes. I think we definitely need to shift our mentality as a whole.

  3. Well absolutely a gay man’s chemical and biological reaction is the same towards a man a a straight guy’s is towards a woman; that’s what makes us gay. I would argue that those are the same exact hormones fueling the attraction no matter what your orientation is. You, me, and any random straight guy have the same hormones. So the attraction to a gender is not determined by hormones and therefor not by genes either. Attraction is a much more complex and agreeably largely yet to be discovered.

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