Forgive and Never Forget
As the end of my freshman year of college comes to a close in these last 4-5 weeks, I have been looking back on the year a lot. I am astounded by how fast this school year has gone and by how much I have changed in these nine months. I entered school as an annoying, loud-mouth kid who was so sure of himself and where he was going. The person writing this blog for you today is not that same boy. I am not sure of where I am going, who I will be with, what adventures I will go on. I am not sure that I will even be feeling the way I feel now in five months from now, but I am sure of one lesson that recently smacked me in the face. Forgive and forget. (However, I edited it.)
Sure, we all say this to someone who has been hurt, trampled on, tossed to the side of the road only to be eaten by ravenous vultures. However, do we ever really mean it? Do we ever apply this concept to our own life? Yes, I’ve been hurting lately. Actually, it’s really been more of mourning, and I kept telling myself to just move on, let it go, to get over it. But, I couldn’t. It wasn’t until the other night that I was having a conversation with a friend, we’ll call her Jill, and that she told me it was normal. That the feeling of loss over someone, who isn’t dead by the way, is exactly what I should be feeling. Then it hit me. I was so caught up in “moving on” that I never properly grieved the loss of someone out of my life that was such a huge influence. By not grieving, I couldn’t forgive this person, but ultimately, myself.
So as I went to bed the other night, I finally accepted the fact that my life has chapters, chapters come to a close, and new ones begin. I finally accepted forgiveness for myself, and right when I was about to push that chapter out of my life I realized I couldn’t forget, that I shouldn’t forget. I realized that the greatest novels of all time have moments of extreme emotion within every range of the spectrum. That chapter was one of the best chapters of my novel so far. However, that chapter does not define the novel.
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